No worries.

I told a lie today.

No worries.

It wasn’t malicious. In fact, it was spoken to preserve the emotions of the person to whom I was speaking. It would not have been fair to dump out the spiritual baggage I was carrying on her via text. So instead, no worries.

But there were worries. It began earlier this week when I read an article about a gay catholic believer and his struggle with celibacy and the church. From the way he wrote I had little doubt that he loved God deeply, but his struggle was with the church. His church had expectations. His church didn’t help him. His church. His church. His church. And as fascinated as I was by the article, I wanted to know what about his God?

No worries.

Then there was the friend who publicly bashed white evangelicals on social media for their lack of service to the least of these. Ironic, because I thought he too was a white evangelical. And as my husband and I discussed the article, we wondered if we had ever seen him do the things he was accusing white evangelicals of not doing.

But, no worries.

Then there was the book I had just finished reading. Anything. By Jennie Allen. It’s about her journey with God after she and her husband tell God they will do anything He wants. Not rocket science, but touching.

So no worries became my mask today. My duct tape, if you will, holding back all my frustration. Somewhere inside, and probably not that deep inside, I was worried. I am worried. Am I more wrapped up in my church than my God? Am I one of those white evangelicals my friend talked about? Am I pretending anything more than praying anything?


God, only You know. Help me to serve You before your church. Help me to love You by loving the lost. Let me do nothing out of pride or selfish ambition, but all to glorify You. Amen.

When God Calls Your Bluff

People are often fascinated by the fact that I don’t drink alcohol. Never have. Not a sip. The short story goes: In 8th grade I made a deal with God that if He’d help me with something I would never drink alcohol. He did His part; so by His strength I’m doing mine. There have been challenging moments, but it was never that difficult for me because it seemed like such a big promise to break.

But what about smaller promises?

Over the last few weeks I’ve had the feeling that I should start blogging again. I’m not sure if it’s the result of a book I recently read or a result of my reduced time on social media, but I’ve had more and more thoughts pop in my head that I feel God wants me to work through. Last night, that very thing happened. I was already in bed. I was comfy. And Harry Potter was just about to learn vital information to help him fight you-know-who. (Just keeping it real, folks!) Write something now? I’ll take care of that tomorrow, I told myself.

Fast forward to right now, literally right now. Well, ok, at this point probably 15 minutes ago. I am sitting at my dining room table having just finished lunch, still sipping my coffee, when I realized that I have forgotten what it was I was going to write about. Having had an amazing morning at church I do all I know to do, and I offer up a short prayer: Lord, if you help me remember I will write about it.

I pick up the book I’ve been reading (Jesus of Suburbia, by Mike Erre). There on page 79, just two pages from where I had last stopped reading, was the scripture I had been thinking about yesterday (Matthew 16:13-14, blog post to follow).

I didn’t feel like writing. I didn’t feel like doing anything really. I just wanted to sit for a few minutes and relax. How could I though? Pastor preached on sin today.

What is sin? I often think of James 4:17 when trying to answer that question, “If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”

I hear you, Lord, loud and clear. Message received.

Book Review: Organized Simplicity

Organized Simplicity: The Clutter Free Approach to Intentional Living
By Tsh Oxenreider

I received this book as a gift from a friend who had received this book as a gift from her sister-in-law. And as it goes with good books, word of mouth is the best marketing system. Yes, I already have a friend in mind to pass the book along to.

How-to, self help, minimalism, and cleaning books are not lacking in our society. Yet houses are getting bigger, families are getting busier, and dare I say families are getting poorer. When we were first married we lived in a house that was about 1000 sqft, but fantastically affordable and just right for newlyweds. Fast forward 7 years, add two children and one new, better paying job later and we were ready to move to a better neighborhood. The two 1700 sqft homes we lived in over the course of the next three years always seemed a little too big (my husband would disagree, I'm sure).

We longed to own a home and finally found one in our price range and took aggressive measures (ok, maybe just measures) to make sure we could fit in our new 1/3 smaller home. And so I find myself today cozy in my 1150 sqft home. And while my kids get bigger (both boys predicted to break 6 feet tall) I have been tempted to add on (I love our location so I don't want to move). But about a year ago I realized that to increase this home would deprive potential future buyers of their cozy first home. #LoveGrowsBestInLittleHouses

What I loved about this book is that it not only addresses your clutter, it addresses time and money. Tsh has great concepts that can be applied to any area of your life. This is what I walked away with:

1. Live Intentional.
Not doing this is probably the biggest thief of our lives. We are so busy just getting by that we forget why we are alive (some have never stopped to even consider why). God has s purpose for each of us; how sad to think we may have ignored it in our busyness. Prioritize your life as an individual/family and then live in a way that congruent with your life's purpose.

2. Create Availability.
This was a life changer for me. Our lives are so full that we are prisoners of them. Payoff your debt and bulk up your savings so you can use your money to help someone when needed, take that dream vacation, or retire in style. Don't keep your family so busy you can't savor the activities you do. Clean and declutter your home so you can host a girls night, let your kids have that sleep over, or even house a visiting friend.

3. Deny obligation.
Do you really "have to"? I know there are some things that you really do "have to" do but when you live intentionally you will start to see you don't really have to do everything. It's ok - even appropriate - to say no. Does a kid have to play four different organized sports? Do you have to watch six reality shows instead of living your own life? Do you have to have a new car? Do you have to keep that gift that you will never use? Ask yourself these kinds of questions and you may be surprised at the answers.

I hope you enjoy this book as much as I did. I will likely re-read this in years to come, which I don't say often, but it was really that meaningful to me.

Dumpster Diving & The Love of God

When I quit my job about ten weeks ago I knew that my family's finances would change significantly.  And, as He always does, God has used this new season of life to teach me a thing or two about His love.

It all started with an empty water bottle.

My son's school is an eight minute walk from our house and we've enjoyed this little bit of time every morning and afternoon to talk about life.  It's actually a very precious time walking him to school each day, hearing his nine year old thoughts.  One day as I walked home by myself I noticed an empty water bottle on the curb and reasoned I was just about a block from home, why not pick it up and be five cents richer when I take my recyclables.  So I did.

Fast forward about a month.  My sons and I were at a local miniature golf center enjoying a gift certificate from my mother in law.  Actually, they were enjoying it, I was watching them.  Somewhere around the eighth hole I noticed a half filled water bottle sitting next to the ten foot fairway.  Side note for total transparency: I had to google "parts of a golf course" to know what the fairway was called.  Once again I figured it would do me no harm to carry this bottle until we went home.  So I picked it up and placed it in my purse.

A few holes and several dozen strokes later (because every miniature golf course is par-whatever-I-swing when you are a child) I looked down to see a perfectly clean, mostly empty water bottle just inside a rather empty trash can.  It was a straight shot down, and I new I could grab the water bottle without touching the sides of the trash can.  I stood looking at it and laughed realizing how much I felt like George Costanza: "It was sort of on top... above the rim."

And I heard God speak to me so clearly as I reached the length of my arm into that trash can.  How was I willing to reach down so low for something that has only a five cent value when I was willing to do so little for those of endless value to Him?

"Are not two sparrows sold for a cent?  And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.  But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows."  Matthew 10:29-31, NASB

By this past Sunday I was a full blown recycling novice, reading articles online and checking our city's municipal code to determine where I could legally collect and where I could not.  At the neighborhood park there were lots of abandoned bottles and cans.  As I walked further and further into the park, literally to corners I had never visited before, I realized I had reached a point few would in their recycling efforts.  Lots of people care about recycling (even I've avidly recycled at home for years) but few would walk a couple miles out of their way for it.

Again I heard God.  The road gets more narrow the further you go; fewer people will walk it.

"Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it.  For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it."  Matthew 7:13-14, NASB

I don't know where God is leading me these days, and I choose to be okay with that.  I pray that where ever it is - because it is so rarely where I think it will be - that I will be obedient to His calling and go eagerly to those places so that more will hear of this great love of God's that reaches down to the bottom of the filthiest trash can to rescue those with no other hope.

A Pinterest Christmas: Repurposing Christmas

So many things in my life are changing right now, some for the good and some for the eventual-good. Change is as difficult as it is exciting.

This year I want to re-purpose Christmas. I want to make this Advent actually reflect the advent of Christ. Now I know what you're thinking: it's only November, what's this talk about Advent? Let me ask you, why does Advent begin December 1st? As far as I can tell its a completely arbitrary date, so this year I am celebrating a long Advent.

As I reflect on the birth of Christ I hold Isaiah 43:18-19 very dear to my heart: "The Lord says, 'Forget what happened before, and do not think about the past. Look at the new thing I am going to do. It is already happening. Don’t you see it? I will make a road in the desert and rivers in the dry land.'"


And isn't that what Christmas is really all about? A new thing. A new life. A new chance. A new hope. Praise God!

My candle centerpiece was made with repurposed Christmas decorations. These had all decorated my office the last five Christmas holidays. Looking at them in their previous form caused me hurt, but cutting the cranberries, twigs, and pine cones from the deteriorating wreath they were attached to and instead placing them amongst these mini-ornaments caused me much joy. Will you #RepurposeChristmas with me?

1. Gather your supplies: one large vase (I used a trifle bowl), one small vase, a candle, small ornaments, and various seasonal decorations (I used plastic cranberries, twigs, and pine cones).
2. Place the candle in the smaller case, and the smaller vase in the larger vase. 
3. Place the ornaments in the large vase.
4. Scatter the remaining decorations amongst the ornaments. Voila! A beautiful centerpiece in just a few minutes.